You might think that with six daughters and one wife that I totally understand women. You would be wrong. There are times that I am completely confused. Many times.
I need help. My wife and daughters would say, Amen, he needs help.
Thankfully the Lord has given his Word as a lamp and a light. Armed with God's Word, I am able to discern some of the things that every woman wants. Though there are exceptions, deep down, I think that every woman--if they can break through the scars that might be hindering natural desire, want the same things.
1. Every Woman Wants to Be Kissed.
Jim Forsyth, from a Reuter's column on Feb. 13, 2006, writes that kissing evolved from sniffing, which people did centuries ago as a way of learning about each other. He quotes Vaughn Bryant, an anthropologist at Texas A&M University, who said, at some point they slipped and ended up on the lips, and they thought that was a lot better. You got a lot more bang for your buck.
Every time that I read the Song of Solomon (SOS), I am struck that some of the first words of that great Song have to do with kissing. Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth (1:2)!
Notice that it is not just any guy that she wants to kiss her. Let him... This is a specific man.
Wise and godly women do not want to just be kissed. They want to be kissed by one man. That man is her Beloved.
Why does she want to kiss him? For your love is better than wine; your anointing oils are fragrant; your name is oil poured out...(2-3).
Love in the Song of Solomon is compared to wine. Wine is sweet to the lips and intoxicating to the mind and body. His kisses are sweet to her lips. Her man intoxicates her.
She also wants to kiss him because, your anointing oils are fragrant. Simply stated--he smells sweet.
And she wants to kiss him because; your name is oil poured out. He has sweet character.
For the woman it is not hard to kiss a man who is sweet to the taste, sweet to the smell and who has a sweet life. He is sweet. She desires him. A word to guys is in order here. Make sure that your breath smells good, you body smells good and that you are a sweet guy in your character and attitude.
2. Every Woman Wants to Feel Pretty.
The lady in SOS does not think of herself as pretty. She is self-conscious about her appearance (1:3-6). Her family had required her to work outside tending vineyards and her skin was dark. In biblical days tanned skin on a woman was not desirable. While tending to the family vineyards she had not been able to take proper care of her vineyard (her body).
Regardless of how she felt about her appearance--she felt comfortable and desirable to her man. She knew his love that was better than wine, his kisses that were sweeter than wine and his life that was full of sweetness.
Guys it is your job to help your wife to feel pretty. How do you do that? It is really rather simple. Tell her! Behold you are beautiful, my love; behold you are beautiful; your eyes are doves (1:15).
To him she was the most beautiful among women (8). That meant that he only had eyes for her. Though there might have been other women who, by the standards of the general populace were more beautiful--none of that impacted the man of SOS. He was totally focused on his woman.
3. Every Woman Wants to Be With the One That She Loves (1:7).
Part of what it means to be in love is that partners want to be together.
It is easy for a man to forget that his wife wants and needs to be with him.
The lady wants to have a rendezvous with him, when he is least distracted by work. He is out in the field shepherding the sheep. She wants to come to him while the sheep are resting (7).
She is invited, playfully it seems, to come and see him (1:8). The guy offers no barriers. He simply invites her to come for a visit and then he tells her how exciting she is to him. I compare you, my love, to a mare among Pharaoh's chariots. Your cheeks are lovely with ornaments, your neck with strings of jewels (9-10).
It seems that he is saying something like this, you are beautiful, regal, filled with dignity and are as exciting as a mare among the chariots of Pharaoh.
It is important to let your wife know that you also want to be with her. She is beautiful--even regal to you and she excites you.
It is true, I do not know a lot about women. However, this I do know. Your wife wants to be kissed by you. Be desirable in your appearance, smell and attitude. Your wife wants to know that you think that she is pretty. You must learn to think of her as the most beautiful of all women. Your wife wants to be with you. Don't put hurdles in her pathway. Invite her to see you, and when she gets there--tell her that she is beautiful.