The Dancing Puritan

Monday, March 18, 2013

Words and Marriage


Words build.  Words wound. Words strengthen. Words destroy.

Our words reveal something about us.  They speak of our fears and our dreams.

What are your words saying about you?

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.  Have ever more foolish words been written?

The hardest of destructive words to take are those that come from our once intimate companions.

For it is not an enemy who taunts me--then I could bear it; it is not an adversary who deals insolently with me--then I could hide from him.  But it is you, a man, my equal, my companion, my familiar friend (Psalm 55:12-13).

David's friend changed from speaking sweet counsel (14) to taunting him.  That is tough.  To have a trusted friend turn against you is almost unbearable. None are such real enemies as false friends, wrote Charles Spurgeon.  David felt the pain of having one that he had confided in turn on him.

Charles Spurgeon wrote: It was not merely the counsel which men take together in public or upon common themes, their fellowship had been tender and confidential. The traitor had been treated lovingly, and trusted much. Solace, mutual and cheering, had grown out of their intimate communions. There were secrets between them of no common kind. Soul had been in converse with soul, at least on David's part. However feigned might have been the affection of the treacherous one, the betrayed friend had not dealt with him coldly, or guarded his utterance before him. Shame on the wretch who could belie such fellowship, and betray such confidence! And walked unto the house of God in company. Religion had rendered their intercourse sacred, they had mingled their worship, and communed on heavenly themes. 

There are many disgusting aspects of the traitor's treachery but his words are the most damaging.

Once they took sweet counsel. Once they spoke the language of familiar friends. Once they had laughed and once they had spoke of the things of God together.

Yet the traitor's lips turned from God and from his friend. His tongue became an arrow and his wounds were not of the faithful variety.

I thought of this today in terms of marriage. Once those who could only speak sweet words of affection now have the vocabulary of an adversary. Once their words built up their beloved. Now their words destroy. Once they spoke the romantic language of Solomon but now the romance is replaced with venom.

There is only one way back from such traitorous behavior.  Repent. Turn to God. One old Puritan Pastor was fond of saying, if I die in the pulpit I desire to die preaching repentance and faith. If I die outside of the pulpit I desire to die practicing repentance and faith.

Regarding marriage, repentance and faith are often needed. The person guilty of slowly killing their spouse with words must repent and look to Christ for deliverance.That repentance will involve putting off destructive words and putting on the language of The Song of Solomon.