The Dancing Puritan

Saturday, July 12, 2014

16 Ways to Love Your Wife


Here are a few thoughts, gathered from the Song of Solomon, to help you better love your wife. Loving her begins with understanding and embracing the gospel of Christ. If you do not know Jesus, look unto him and be saved (Read John 3 and Ephesians 5:22-33). 

Be desirable by being the kind of man she WANTS to be with (1:1-4). Work on your lips, your smell, and your character. Bathe, shave, dress nicely, put on cologne, brush your teeth and use mouthwash.

Tell her she is beautiful and exciting (1:9-10, 15). Use comparative language. NOTICE her hair, new dress, painted nails, zest for life, passion for God, and tell her.

Learn about Vineyards and Take Her to One (2:4). Read a book together about vines, grapes, and winemaking. Stop being so boring and predictable. Dinner and a movie is a great date, sometimes. However, maybe there is more to romance than dinner and a movie? 

Never get intoxicated with alcohol; be intoxicated with her (5:1) Drunkenness is a sin. It makes you look foolish. Be drunk on the love of your wife.

Make it clear to everyone that you love her (2:4). Stop checking out other women on the Internet and at the store. Stop dismissing your wife in public or private. Fly a love banner over her (2:4).

Cultivate Beautiful Speech (2:10-14)- Learn how to talk. Read poetry. Listen to music. Read books. Go to a classic play. Practice in your journal. Write her a letter.

Make Sure the Interior of Your Life is Inlaid with Love (3:10). It is all about character. Say what you will but if your heart is not pure your words will be empty. Solomon had a chariot inlaid with love. Much better to have such a heart.

Talk about your wedding day as a day of gladness (3:11). Look at your wedding pictures, watch the video, laugh as you recall your wedding day.

From head to toe, tell her how beautiful she is (4:1-8). Be specific, creative, and loving. Don't miss her eyes, hair, teeth, lips, neck, etc.

Be captivated by her and tell her (4:9). Put the stupid phone down and look into her eyes. Tell her that you are captivated by her. Tell her why. If you are not captivated by her then repent.

Point out something beautiful in her character (4:10). Dig deeper than the skin and point out character qualities."How beautiful is your love . . . Your love is better than wine."

Enjoy her in marital intimacy (5:1, 6:2-3, 7:6-9). Don't act bored. Drink a cup of coffee if you are tired. See, savor, speak, and enjoy. 

Be Overwhelmed by Her (6:5). Don't make everything about you. Talk about her, look at her, think about her, talk to her.

From toe to head, tell her how beautiful she is (7:1-5). Start with her feet this time. Are her toe-nails painted? Notice. Work your way up.

Be exclusive about her in words, thoughts, and deeds.(7:10). Provoke her by your good life to say, "I am my beloved's and his desire is for me." Don't leave any room for her to doubt that you are anything but totally faithful to her.

Long for her voice and listen to her. (8:13). Tell her that you want to hear her voice and then listen. Turn away from the computer, the television, the phone, and all others. Look into her eyes and listen intently.

There are a lot more such thoughts in Solomon's Song. See if you can find them.

Ray Rhodes, Jr. is the President of Nourished in the Word. He leads marriage events for churches, organizations, and small groups. 

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