The Dancing Puritan

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Reading Together Can Change Your Marriage

Have you ever read to and with your spouse?

Early in our marriage Lori and I read The Pursuit of God  by A.W. Tozer together. That experience was a rich time of fellowship and growth. Since then we have read many books individually, but few books together (out-loud).  I am not sure why that is.

I want to read with Lori again. Reading together would be a good use of our time. It would be enjoyable, edifying, and instructive. Reading together would allow us the opportunity to interact as we read, discuss points, laugh, learn new things, be reminded of old things, and find ways to grow together in knowledge, wisdom and friendship.

A few years ago I wrote a book, Family Worship for the Thanksgiving Season. In that book I provided a biographical sketch of Sarah Hale, the lady who worked tirelessly to promote a federally recognized Thanksgiving Day. Sarah was a prolific writer/editor for a ladies magazine and she also wrote numerous books. She flourished as a writer after her husband David died and she was left to support her five children.

Sarah and David had a wonderful marriage.  One fascinating practice that they engaged in was that David read to Sarah each evening.

We commenced soon after our marriage, a system of study and reading, which we pursued while he (David) lived. The hours allotted were from eight o'clock until ten--two hours in twenty-four.  How I enjoyed those hours! In this manner we studied French, Botany--then almost a new science in this country but for which my husband had an uncommon taste; and obtained some knowledge of Mineralogy, Geology, etc., besides pursuing a long and instructive course of reading.  In all of our mental pursuits, it seemed the aim of my husband to enlighten my reason, strengthen my judgment, and give me confidence in my own powers of mind, which he estimated more highly than I did.  I equalled him in imagination, but in no other faculty. Yet the approbation which he bestowed on my talents has been of great encouragement to me in attempting the duties which were to be my portion. To me the period of our union was one of unbroken happiness... (pp 35-36: The Lady of Godey's  by Ruth Finley, 1931)

It may not be possible for you and your spouse to read together for two hours each evening. However, could you not spend some time reading? David and Sarah Hale's marriage was strengthened through those reading times and as a result she was better able to care for their family after David's death. Day after day they employed two hours for "a system of study and reading." Much more was gained through those times than mere intellectual knowledge. The story of David and Sarah Hale is a tender love story, strengthened by spending time together in the worthy pursuit of reading.

Why don't you give it a try? Choose an interesting book. Read a section with your spouse each morning or evening. Engage one another in conversation as you read. Laugh together when the book is funny. Pray when you are convicted. Make a note of principles that you learn and seek to put them into practice in your marriage.

I think reading together with your spouse can help your marriage. What do you think?

Ray Rhodes is president of Nourished in the Word Ministries. He is married to Lori (27 years) and they have six children, one son-in-law, and two grandchildren. Ray is a conference and retreat speaker, pastor of Grace Community Church of North Georgia, and author of numerous books on marriage and family. Ray was recently interviewed by Adam McManus on the Generations with Vision radio show. You can listen here: Interview. To learn more about Ray send him a message here: Nourished in the Word.